The Cat Love Affair

by: Dawn Salisbury

A little background: We have two cats. Missy is a 16 pound Burmese/Siamese mix. Snooty best describes her, but that’s just a front, because she will give Nemo opportunities to play with her and will go out of her way to tease other pets in the household. We also have an orange tabby, Nemo, who is about 7 months old. He’s very sweet, but playful, and usually tries to get Missy to indulge his juvenile behavior. Sometimes she gives in and swats at him a bit, which only encourages him further until he takes it too far. Others, she just outright beats him up and hisses at him. Today, Nemo found a new love.

The Temptress

 She’s got a smattering of fur and a perfume so intoxicating that Nemo could hardly contain himself. “You are…so….beautiful!”

First he tries to put on the moves. She’s just sitting there, minding her own business.

“You from around these parts? Yeah, I know, it can get…um…lonely. What’s that? You say you have a problem with your undercarriage?”

“Well, just let me have a look here. Oh, if I could just, you know, flip you over. OH, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen! I love what you’ve done with these strappy things.”

“I know we are moving fast here, but…I ….LOVE YOU!!!!”

“Can I nibble your…uh….your…what do you call this thing?”

“Let’s go back to my place. Here, let me help you don’t the stairs.”

“Oh, I just can’t stand it! Do you feel the same attraction?”

*Gasp* “Missy!!! She caught us. No! Wait! Baby…come back…you know I love you too!! Sweetie? Honey?”

“You know that shoe don’t love you!!”

 “Wait, can we talk about this? I mean, you’re way better than her! She’s….she’s…I don’t know, kind of plastic. Only cares about her looks. Didn’t talk much. Not like you! You tell me what’s on your mind and I always know exactly how you feel. Why am I always talking to your butt?!”

“DON’T TAKE HIM!! I LUV HIM!!!! NEMO!!! GET YOUR BUTT BACK OVER HERE! MAMA NEEDS SOME ATTENTION!!”