How do You Know if you Need to Take Time to be Still?

By: Lisa Akers

We’re living in an outcome-based society. If what you’re doing isn’t producing a result, chances are you’re going to quit doing it. We're just too busy to keep doing things that don't make something happen. When you started pruning your to-do list, I would bet that one of the first things you quit doing was taking time for you. It could be that you quit reading for fun or that you quit a hobby that you enjoyed. You may have quit spending time alone and watching the sunrise over a cup of coffee. You may have quit taking a long bubble bath. Looking back on that choice, has it served you well? What have you lost as a result of not pampering yourself for a few minutes each day? You may not know, but you should think about it.

If you’re like me, you are looking for a way to find that connection to yourself and to really feel energized each and every day – no matter how many times you were up overnight feeding a baby or comforting a child after a bad dream. How do you know if that personal time you chose to give up is really important? There are a few symptoms to look for.

The first is that you’ll feel like there is so much to do and not enough time to get it all done. This feeling of being overwhelmed is one of the first signs that you need to take some time for yourself. During this quiet time, you can take a step back from your frantic schedule and evaluate what is important and what is just something sparkly that distracts you. When you take a short breather, you can return to your to-do list with a renewed sense of clarity, focus, and energy.

The second symptom is that people begin to irritate you and you feel that they are putting you behind schedule. You may get angry easier than you’d like. Your impatience shows and you may snap at those you love or those who just don’t deserve it. Being impatient is a sign that you have scheduled too much in your day and that you don’t have room for contingencies. Taking a few minutes to be still can help you look at things with a new perspective. Does getting angry really make it better?

A third sign that you need to schedule some self-time to be still is that you feel tired. No matter how much sleep you’re getting at night, you just feel exhausted all the time. This isn’t so much a physical exhaustion as it is a mental one. You need to rest your mind and spirit just as much as you rest your body. When you give your mind a break by taking 20 minutes to focus on something that you enjoy – to really focus on the present moment – you will let your brain process all it’s functions in the background. Your subconscious will be able to put those memories and activities in the right storage place in the brain instead of trying to keep them all in the conscious memory. You may not think this is so important, but after you have spent a week or so deliberately spending time being still, you’ll see how much better you remember things.

Another symptom of needing to be still is that you feel like nothing gets done, even though you are always busy. This is a common symptom in moms. Doesn’t it seem like that you work all day and at the end of the day, the laundry is dirty, the house is a mess, and the dishes are piled in the sink? It is a common source of frustration for moms who feel like so much of what they do gets undone so quickly. Taking some time for yourself every day to be still will bring some wonderful benefits (as outlined above) as well as give you something each day that cannot be undone by someone else.

A final symptom of needing to be still is that you may be seeking a deeper spiritual connection or a stronger intuition. Do you feel something is missing in your life? Do you see others who enjoy their intuition and you wish you could as well? Do you sometimes feel that there must be something bigger than this? It could be that you are seeking a stronger spiritual connection and you just don’t have the tools for finding it. One of the best ways to make this connection is by taking time to be still. Dr. Wayne Dyer suggests that it is in the silence of the universe that God speaks to us. We never hear what we are supposed to hear unless we spend some time enjoying the silence of the universe around us. If you’re looking to meet your higher self or to listen to what your intuition is saying, then it is essential to spend some time listening. It will be hard at first, but if you will set aside a few moments each day to just listen, you will hear the message. It helps if you have something you can do with your hands while you sit. I like to knit, but almost any handcraft will do.

Do you find yourself in the symptoms here? I often find myself in each symptom on different days. That’s how I know that it’s time to take some time for myself. It isn’t selfish, it’s survival. You’ll have a much happier life, your family, friends, and colleagues will enjoy you more, and you’ll be energetic, patient, and fully alive. I challenge you to spend a week and see what happens when you sit deliberately still for 20 minutes a day.

If you need an excuse to spend time for you, then consider doing a craft that keeps you in the present moment. Most crafts are this way - knit, crochet, needlepoint, cross stitch, woodworking, and even candle and soap making. I even find that people making jewelry enjoy the serenity of the moment. It's a great way to take that time for yourself and get a chance to make something beautiful for yourself or someone else.

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Lisa Akers is the president of Be Still & Knit. Her company teaches women how to find peace and stillness in their lives through handwork. By discovering knit and crochet, women develop a new way to take time for themselves and share the love they have as warm clothing! Find out more about Lisa at www.bestillandknit.com or listen to her podcast at www.peacefulknitter.com.