I want a Servant!

I’m a romantic; a dreamer. I love Jane Austen’s novels and the idea of having

servants. Throughout the years of raising children, I confess, I often thought about the era of the past where there were live in servants, nanny’s and cooks…and I wished I had a full staff in my home.

How nice it would be to have someone take care of the children when they get unruly, or make dinner for the family when I’m too busy to even think about eating. It would be nice to have a butler answer the door to the solicitors who always seem to come by at inconvenient hours.

But…no one else has that today, so why don’t we all have paid live-in servants anymore? The first thing I thought of was that most of us do not know what it was really like to have servants or know the dynamics of it because it has been over a century since it was in vogue. Additionally, we, as a country have an appalling lack of knowledge in history. I admit, I am part of that group too and I’m daily trying to change that.

I have been reading the book The Business of Being a Woman by Ida M. Tarbell. She wrote the book around the time that paid house service was being eliminated and more people were taking care of their own homes. She brought to light several points on this subject, all of which I thought were valid.

• Comfort level for the home owners was diminished knowing you don’t want the staff to hear or find out your private business, etc.

• There was an expectation of servants to live celibate (not saying anything is wrong with celibacy!) lives and to remain unmarried so that the family can ensure long, loyal service.

• The domestic arts were looked at as undignified and unbecoming a person of high character.

• Many times the servants endured long work hours, tedious working conditions, and unhealthy environments.

Those children who came from poor families knew their family needed them and what was expected of them. Alternatively, problems were arising because the offspring of the wealthy had little to do with their time and rarely knew what was expected of them. They also felt that the world owed them everything. I feel that today we’ve mixed these together until there are the same problems that arise for both the wealthy and the poor.

So, when I look at our lives today and that I’ve had to put a one hundred percent effort into my home and family I’m thankful for the skills and experience I’ve received. My parents taught me to value work, how to work, and how to create a life worth living with my intention and my own two hands. We do have a lot of conveniences that they did not have a hundred years ago that can make life simpler and more comfortable. Gratitude is the name of the game here. If we are able to see that the grass really wasn’t greener maybe it will make us a little more thankful while we’re washing the next load of dishes, knowing we do it because of the life experience if affords and to demonstrate love for our home and family.

For comparison’s sake, how we’ve evolved in this twenty-first century:

• We live in our own space with our family members with more belongings that our ancestors of the past. We all maintain a high level of privacy and comfort depending on our life choices and who and what we choose to surround ourselves with.

• We have the protection of our inalienable rights, among those: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. This also includes less social pressure regarding who to marry, what our vocation should be, etc.

• The domestic arts are becoming fashionable, encouraged, and embraced.

• We have labor laws that protect us and laws that maintain healthier environments in our working conditions, etc.

I always say if I had eight more arms I’d be set. While it won’t be servants on

staff, I can enlist the help of my loved ones and friends or simply change my priorities and slow my life down. I’m thankful that I live today, although it might have been nice to have been Elizabeth and romanced by Mr. Darcy, but I have my own wonderful Mr. Darcy slash He-man at home. I’ll keep him and all these littles that I love so much. I also wouldn’t trade wearing a comfortable pair of blue jeans for those long heavy skirts. Living today really isn’t so bad!

Essential Oils and Cures and Uses Around the House

In the last six months I have been using essential oils for a number of things and have been surprised and impressed with the results. I thought I would share a few uses with you. 

Oil in the Bathtub

My mother in law told me about this use. Instead of dropping the oils directly into your bathwater, like Lavender for helping with sleep, she suggested mixing your oils in a teaspoon of milk, stirring and then adding to the bathwater. The milk will diffuse it through the water and make it so it does not rest on the top of the water, or stick to you when you exit the bath.

Cat Urine

Our cat, an elderly Missy, contracted a UTI and surprised us with a wet bed three nights in a row. If anyone has had a the not so fortunate experience of having to get cat urine out of something, you know it can be frustrating and sometimes expensive to clean up the mess. I used Purify (doTerra Essential Oils) in the washer with the bedding. Surprisingly, no stains and no odors remained! 

Cat Deterrant

Before we knew Missy had a UTI, she was having accidents in one of the bedrooms. We cleaned and cleaned, but she kept going back. Finally, I put together in a spray bottle equal parts of orange, lemon, and peppermint oils, diluted with water, and sprayed the room after cleaning the carpets again. She remained out of the room for about a month, so remember to reapply every couple of weeks. As a side note, cats don't normally like the citrus smells, so don't use citrus scented kitty litter if you want them to keep using their litter box. 

Bleeding Ulcers

I have written several posts here about being diagnosed with Celiac Disease (allergy to wheat) and the lifestyle changes we have made. Well, the ulcers are back, after almost a year of being ulcer free. This month they returned with a vengeance. Painful and not responding to prescription drugs, I was a miserable mess. Peppermint, Lavender, a blend for digestion were not helping, and then when the bleeding started acutely, Shiloah advised Geranium and Frankincense. Five minutes after application, all pain was gone. 

Back Pain

Past Tense is a blend by doTerra that is for headaches, but it works great for nerve and muscle pain as well. Curtis has herniated discs that while are always painful in someway, seem to have times when the pain is worse than others. This week happens to be one of those times. With pain medication and muscle relaxers he kept complaining they weren't doing anything for the pain. After a weekend of rest, medication and Past Tense application he said the oils were doing more for him than the pain medication. This surprised me because a lot of times Curtis is a naysayer, LOL! 

Splinters

Our poor house seems to be falling apart piece by piece. First the roof was leaking, then the air conditioner died, and then the fence blew over. My kids are ever barefoot, even in the winter, and once the fence blew down they had to try playing on it. This resulted in a number of long splinters in their little feet. Once we removed the splinters, we applied Lemon oil to their feet and this repelled infection and pain. 

Autism and ADHD

I have four kids now diagnosed with various forms of autism, mixed with ADHD. I started using a few in a combination: 

Vetiver on the foot for calmness

Grapefruit on the throat lymph nodes for chelation 

Lavender on the back of the neck for relaxation

Balance (doTerra blend) for well...balance. 

I do have some of my kids on prescription medications. My hope is that in time I will be able to remove them from the prescriptions and solely use oils. I have these applied most days and am seeing good results, although some days it seems ineffective, and maybe that is just those days that are off kilter anyway. 

These are other uses I found to be helpful with the oils: 

Melissa: balancing monthly female hormones and cycles. 

Ginger: well being and sometimes bringing money. 

Terra Shield (patent pending, insect repellent): Happy cats and dogs, no mosquito bites, and helpful in feeling protected spiritually. 

Frankincense: needing inspiration and creativity

Rose: good will towards others (used this on days when I felt grouchy with my kids). 

On Guard (doTerra blend): I use this almost daily because I love the smell of it. It is used to ward off illness and if you have one day you just feel under the weather or run down, this will help you stay well. You can also dilute this in water and use as a disinfectant for surface cleaning. 

Melaleuca and Lavender: Yeast infections, fungal infections, itchy rashes. The Melaleuca has anti-fungal properties and the Lavender for itching. Lavender on mosquito bites is heavenly! Melaleuca may not smell particularly pleasant, but it does a great job with infections. I had a weird rash on my arm that after a few applications has disappeared and not returned. 

I'm slowly learning more about these oils and am interested in other uses you have found. Share them below in the comments! 

To know more about doTerra oils, you can visit this site: doTerra Essential Oils. 

Thank You Autocorrect

My phone just did an update and so all my setting were messed up, and suddenly, auto correct and auto suggestion had been turned on. I hadn't been able to figure out how to turn it off, so my friends were getting weirdly translated texts from me.

Last week I texted my friend to see how his dog was doing. Sasha was in liver and kidney failure and things were pretty tense waiting to hear back if she was going to be okay.

"Hey, how is your sausage doing?"

*Sasha*!!!! Omg...I did not just ask him how his sausage was doing!!

Thankfully he has a good sense of humor and knew I was asking about his dog. Sasha is fine and making a full recovery, but how embarrassing.

The Girlfriend

A girlfriend is probably the only person in this world, who understands exactly what you are saying even though if you may not really be talking.

                                                                                                   Anonymous

I'm at a point in my life that I think is strange to be able to say 12 years ago I was just a new mom and to consider how I learned all that I needed to that really laid the groundwork for the kind of mother and wife I am today. In just a weekend all this came back to me. Almost like I needed to be reminded of how far I had come, how much I had learned, how different we all are now, but for the better. This also reminded me of how friends shape our lives too.

 Shiloah, Me, Sharon, and Beth

Salt Lake Temple, Utah

13 years ago I met these lovely ladies. I was divorced, pregnant, scared, newly married again, and just not sure where I belonged, or where I needed to go. Shiloah was the friend that called me one day and just talked, making me feel like I could call her back any day or night for whatever reason. I labored in Beth's kitchen with Isaac, while Curtis, her husband and another friend's husband gave me a blessing and whoever was closest pressed on my back to relieve labor pains. Sharon gave me advice and mothering. Not shown, but Hillary made me laugh at EVERY situation. Rebecca and I stayed up to all hours of the night talking about all things spiritual and challenges we face in this life and how to best handle them. 10 years later we all are in the same place at the same time. I firmly believe Heavenly Father puts us in places and with people at the times we most need them. I have yet to be in any other place in my life that I felt like I connected with so many women with common ground. 

Many kids later our lives have changed, and if anything, life has become more challenging. The kids have different needs. We have had different struggles to overcome. There have been a lot of lessons to be learned. We have matured, and I think, become more beautiful. But those connections with each other are still there.We pick up where we left off. We keep moving forward, towards better things. 

Another friend once gave me a pillow that said, "It takes a long time to grow an old friend". It does. Sometimes we have girlfriends that are only around for a short period of time, maybe to just get us through a trying time in our life. Sometimes we have girlfriends we have from childhood that continue to stay with us, through thick and thin, through everything, and you know that if they say they will be there for you, they will be there for you. 

There are so many people who would do anything to ride in the Mercedes with you. But what you really deserve is somebody who would want to board the bus along with you when the Mercedes breaks down.
Anonymous

A couple weekends ago Shiloah came from Colorado to visit and so we had a mini reunion with other friends from Texas where we had originally met. There was so much to catch up on, so much to say, we just didn't have enough time to say it all. I had missed them. Life seemed so simple back then, when I just had one baby.

4, 6, and 8 kids later we all seem so grown up. There are other things that matter, more spiritual things, more awareness that we are progressing, teaching our children, becoming more in tune to our families, husbands and children. It is good we progress like this. A little sad sometimes, I think, when we realize some choices we make hold us back, maybe aren't the best idea ever, or that sometimes we made huge leaps forward and now feel like we are taking baby steps backwards. So when those things happen, we call on our girlfriends to get us through. Sometimes I feel like I haven't always been there to support others like they needed, so caught up in our own life we forget there is a world beyond our front door, or a phone call away. Either way, it is a blessing to have such wonderful women in my life that teach me, support me, help me, and allow me to do the same for them. 

"No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever." 

                                                                Francois Mocuriac

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On the Homeschool Front: Bones

I feel so blessed that we live at the base of a mountain. Four short blocks away is a creek that rushes out of the canyon. It is one of my favorite places to go, either for just a walk or cooling off in the water or just watching the valley. It is a perfect station for watching weather roll across the lake too. 

Right now we have the snow melt rushing off the mountain, so every couple days we go up to check on the progress. Joshua calls it "checking on the leaking". I call it getting out of a stuffy house. The flow has lessened now and so the other night we went up to walk around and see what we could find. 

Kind of an old picture when the leaves were just blooming on the trees. 

The water flows around the rocks and gravel pushed into place to guide the water to a collection pond for irrigation uses. We walked down that way to see the waterfall and look for interesting rocks. Instead, we found a treasure. 

A deer jaw bone. Now, the homeschooler in me got all excited. For some reason, I didn't know that deer had such sharp teeth. This also got my mind racing. What did the Indian's use it for? I could make the kids analyze each tooth and determine which one was used for what. We could make tomahawks!! No wait, bad idea in house of boys. We could pull the teeth out and make necklaces (a little creepy, but the boys would have fun with it). Hannah picked the bone up and studied it for a few minutes. I asked her what it felt like. She didn't really respond, just commented how much she loves bones. I did not know this.  

 My kids have watched one too many Bones episodes. 

"Let's find the rest of the body!!" 

*gag* I didn't say anything. I hoped that the body was already washed further down, or this jaw bone was all we were going to find. Please, let this be the only part of the body we found because I don't know really want to find the remains of dead animal, as interesting as that might be, for scientific purposes and all. 

"Look!! I found it!!" Isaac screamed this, then starts frantically looking around for sticks, enlisting the help of Hannah and Jesse. They find waterlogged sticks and start prying at some dark lump under the water. Eww, I just don't want to see this, I think, and do I really want my kids seeing it? They reach their hands in the water to feel it. I gag. "It's slimy!", they report. "Don't touch it!" I yell back. 

They struggled for a few minutes, pulling and leveraging this lump in the water. And suddenly it comes free, pops out of the water and I stifle my scream. There's stuff poking out of it and its black.....oh wait, on second look...it's a.......it's a TREE TRUNK!!! 

Nature lesson is done. We are going home, NOW. That's enough adrenalin for me today. So we carry our bone back to the car. We stop for a few moments to observe a rabbit hole. We find a few interesting stripey granite rocks. We observe the sunset for a few minutes. We take pictures of the jaw bone for Facebook, scratch a few mosquito bites and then race down the hill to show Dad the finds for the night. 

I'm actually quite proud of our find. The only other animal bone we have ever found was when Jesse found a fossilized camel bone in our backyard one day. I love the nature walks we take because it reminds me of how I spent almost every weekend in high school traipsing around a wildlife refuge. I never thought back then to look for fossils or bones. I was more interested in observing the stars, moon, trees, waterfalls and who I was with, and imagining who might have walked on that land before we ever did. Seven years ago when I first began homeschooling,we took the kids on a dragon hunt. We hiked and walked around Devil's Backbone in Loveland, Colorado. This spurred stories and games and reading for the boys for a couple years after that. For two years they kept asking me when their marble egg was going to hatch a dragon. I love it! I love this part of homeschooling, the creative side, the figuring stuff out, coming up with the possibilities of what we could do, see, hear or smell. 

This is the part of homeschooling that is so addictive for me. Learning. Enjoying the moments with my kids that I can pour out all I have learned on something, or look for more information on a subject. For the last few weeks I have watched as they build forts in the backyard from fallen branches out of the tree, look for pill bugs, watch ants collect a pile of sugar, observe the birds that land on the porch for a short break in the backyard, help plant some flowers in the front, climb trees with binoculars (I don't know if they are spying on birds or neighbors), and have sword fights with sticks. I think they must be having a glorious childhood. I hope they are anyway.