"Ok, I put the shampoo in the closet. I need to take a nap." is how my week went. Yeah, the sinus infection failed to make an appointment and just showed up unexpectedly.
So, there I was, with my box of kleenex, trash can, and vacuum cleaner standing in the hallway with my hair tied up in headbands and rubberbands and still seeming not to stay out of my way. Fold a towel, grab a kleenex. Throw away a bottle of lotion from 2008, grab a kleenex. On the bright side, the whole project went pretty fast and wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.
Unfortunately, I found myself doing this:
"Oh, look! My table cloth. It's all wrinkled. I'll just iron it. (Take 10 minutes to iron a tablecloth). I'll put it back on Grandma's table. Grab a kleenex. Wait, the table needs to be wiped off. (Dig out a clean washcloth off the hallway floor because I unloaded everything into a heap on the floor). Wash the table. Push the chairs in, and my hand comes away with sticky something on it. Wipe the chairs down. Wipe the railing down that they set next too. Wash the walls down. Oh, time for lunch. Turkey...turkey...what can I do with turkey. I'll boil it, with rice and beans. Then figure out a recipe to go with that. Sit down at my desk to look for a recipe. Can't find one. Decide to make my own. Get the rice and beans going, grab another kleenex, and manage to walk by the hallway where I forgot I had heaped everything. Oh, back to the closet. Toss this, toss that, dang it! Who put a sippy cup in here?! Hey Curtis! I found your combs! Don't need a clipboard with the shampoo. Find baby lotion expired two years ago, toss it. Grab a kleenex. Rice is boiling. Tend to that. Yell at the kids to clean up their rooms. They jump on the beds and wrestle. Restack the toilet paper in the bottom of the closet. Found legos. Ammon pushes himself between my legs so he can "get comfy" in the bottom of the closet, where he promptly destroys my neat stack of toilet paper. Ask for reinforcements. Curtis helps me sort the sheets and blankets. Find some shower curtain hooks. Find a box to put those in. Get after the kids about cleaning up the room. And then....I burned the beans."
Do you have Adult Onset Attention Deficit Disorder?
Of course I do! Hey, look! Squirrels! Does anyone know how to get rid of burned bean smell in your house?
Do any of you compare yourself to Martha Stewart? She's got her ribbons organized and her glitter jars just so. Her basement and crafts and sheets are perfectly clean and organized, and ours should be to, because as you sit drinking your tea in the middle of the night you can say "I feel a craft coming on!" and be able to go DO it without getting lost in a closet like mine.
A long time ago I read a tip. It said "Store your sheets together inside the matching pillowcase, and then, when you need to change the bed sheets, you have it all ready to go." Ladies, I did this today. Now, think back to what Martha's linen closet looks like. She probably has neat little labels that say:
CURTAINS GUEST ROOM SHEETS MY SHEETS THE DOG'S SHEETS VASES
I secretly want a label maker.
What they didn't say was that you will never get your sheets too look like they came from the factory, but instead look like giant balls of fabric contained in a pillow case. They left out the bit that now your closet will look like a hobo's closet full of rags.