Egg Substitutes
Using Flax Seed:
For each egg needed, place in blender:
1 heaping tablespoon of whole organic flax seed, blend until it becomes a fine meal. Add 1/4 cup cold water blend 2-3 minutes until thickened and has the consistency of eggs. Each 1/4 cup of Flax seed mixture will replace one egg in baking
Using Gelatin:
Before starting recipe for cookies, cake etc... Combine 1 tsp unflavored gelatin with 3 tblsp cold water and 2 tblsp plus 1 tsp boiling water. This mixture will substitute for 1 egg in a recipe.
Using Tofu:
Tofu is great for egg substitutions in recipes that call for a lot of egg (like quiches). To substitute for only one egg in a recipe, whip 1/4 cup tofu and add to your cooking.
1 whole egg = 2 tbsp water and 1 tbsp oil and 2 tsp baking powder.
To make one egg use 2 tbsp water and 2 tsp baking powder.
To make one egg white, dissolve 1 tblsp plain agar powder in 1 tblsp water. Whip, chill and whip again.
1 heaping tblsp soy powder and 2 tblsp water = 1 egg.
1 tblsp soy milk powder and 1 tblsp cornstarch and 2 tblsp water = 1 egg.
One average size banana = one egg, adds flavor to product. Product may be gummy.
1/4 cup soymilk in place of each egg.
3 tablespoons pureed fruit = 1 egg.
Substitute 3 tablespoons mayonnaise for each egg called for in a recipe.
1 egg white is 1 tablespoon of meringue powder plus 2 tablespoons warm water; 8-10 egg whites = 1 cup
1/4 teaspoon agar powder and 1/4 cup lukewarm water and 1 teaspoon low sodium baking powder . Whisk all ingredients together well before adding to recipe .
1/2 tablespoon agar flakes and 1/4 cup water and 1 teaspoon low sodium baking powder- In a large microwave safe container, combine water and agar with top on cook on high in microwave for 45 seconds. Carefully remove container from microwave and whisk baking powder into mixture. Use caution, the baking powder causes a rapid expansion of the liquid and has a tendency to foam over.
2 tablespoons liquid (room temperature water or milk or substitute) and 1 tablespoon potato starch or tapioca starch and 1 /2 tablespoon shortening and 3 /4 teaspoon low sodium baking powder.
1 tablespoon any mild flavored oil + 1 tablespoon apple cider or wine vinegar or lemon juice and 1 teaspoon low sodium baking powder and 1 teaspoon potato starch or cornstarch or arrowroot + enough carbonated water[plain soda water) to equal a total of 1 /4 cup . Combine all ingredients in a medium size bowl to allow room for the ingredients to increase in volume as baking soda and vinegar react. Whisk, then add per mix or recipe instructions.
1 tsp of arrowroot powder + 1 tsp of water, sometimes you may want to add a little extra milk or water or oil to make up for the bulk that you would get with a real egg. Good for pancakes and waffles.
As bad as this may sound 15 ml (0.51 oz) Vinegar = 1 egg. Mainly used in baking, products will stale quickly, use within four days. Freeze until used. Adds flavor to product. Product may be gummy.
1 tsp yeast dissolved in 1/4 cup warm water = 1 egg.
Xanthan Gum.
Mix about 1/4 tsp. with about 1/4 cup of water. Let stand. It thickens, and can be whipped like an egg white. It's okay to replace one egg.
Egg Yolk Substitute:
Mix 2 cups water and 1 cup flour in a blender until thick. Cook in a double boiler 45-60 minutes. With a mixer, whip in 2 Tbsp. cooking oil and 1/4 tsp salt. use 2 or 3 Tbsp. for binder in hamburgers or meat loaf.
Egg White Extender:
Add 1 tsp cold water to 2 egg whites. Makes 3 egg whites.
And Now For Something Completely Different, But Works:
Snow can be used as an excellent substitute for eggs in puddings, pancakes, etc. Two heaping tablespoons snow will take the place of 1 egg, and the recipe will turn out equally well. Use fresh-fallen snow or the under-layers of older snow. The ammonia in snow imparts to its rising properties, and the exposed surface of the snow loses ammonia by evaporations very soon after it has fallen.
Low Cholesterol Egg Substitute Recipe:
1 tablespoon of nonfat dry milk powder
2 egg whites from large eggs
4 drops of yellow food color
Sprinkle powdered milk over egg whites, then beat them with fork until smooth. Add food color, and beat until blended. This makes one-fourth cup, which is equal to 1 large egg. If you use this homemade substitute for scrambled eggs, cook it in vegetable oil or margarine so the eggs won't be too dry.
Best For Baking:
Try substituting 1 banana or 1/4 cup apple sauce for each egg called for in a sweet, baked recipe. These will flavour the recipe, however, so make sure banana or apple will taste good in it.
This is the one most often used in baking; it's really only good for recipes that call for 1 or 2 eggs. To make one egg use 1 tsp Ener-G Egg Replacer powder + 2 tbsp water. It's made from potato flour and other vegan leaveners, this powder can be found in most health food stores.
Escape with us! Thoughts from two moms with large families who are short on vacation time.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Caramel Popcorn
GO MAKE THIS NOW!!!!
5 quarts popped popcorn
1 c. butter
2 c. brown sugar
1/2 c. corn syrup
1 t. salt
1/2 t. baking soda
1 t. vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 250 degrees. Place popcorn in a very large bowl. In a medium saucepan melt butter. Stir in brown sugar, corn syrup and salt. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly. Boil without stirring for 4 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in baking soda and vanilla. Pour in a thin stream over popcorn, stirring to coat. I do this half a batch at a time, so half the popcorn, half the syrup. Coat the popcorn and then place in two cookie sheets. Place in the oven, stir every 15 minutes for one hour. Remove from oven and let cool completely before breaking into pieces.
Wash your pans immediately or the caramel sticks pretty bad. Enjoy that sugar high!!! Perfect with hot wassail or hot chocolate!
5 quarts popped popcorn
1 c. butter
2 c. brown sugar
1/2 c. corn syrup
1 t. salt
1/2 t. baking soda
1 t. vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 250 degrees. Place popcorn in a very large bowl. In a medium saucepan melt butter. Stir in brown sugar, corn syrup and salt. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly. Boil without stirring for 4 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in baking soda and vanilla. Pour in a thin stream over popcorn, stirring to coat. I do this half a batch at a time, so half the popcorn, half the syrup. Coat the popcorn and then place in two cookie sheets. Place in the oven, stir every 15 minutes for one hour. Remove from oven and let cool completely before breaking into pieces.
Wash your pans immediately or the caramel sticks pretty bad. Enjoy that sugar high!!! Perfect with hot wassail or hot chocolate!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
The Five Stages of Illness
DENIAL
The day before you feel a little run down. Maybe more tired than usual and sneak off for cat nap in the car on your break, or dose off while the kids are watching PBS. You feel just...off. The next morning you don't really want to get out of bed because it is warm and you are still exhausted. Gee, you notice you're a little stuffed up and your throat is kinda tender (orange juice+ sore throat= awful burning pain). You go about your day normally. Sore throat wears off and you think, "huh. It must be getting drier due to the weather change". Never mind that you and the Kleenex box have now become acquainted. That night you think soup sounds good. You go to bed early because obviously you must not be getting enough sleep.
And then it hits in the middle of the night. Your sleep is restless because you've tossed and turned all night trying to find a position that allows you to breath. Your partner didn't get a wink of sleep from all your snoring and weird...your arm hurts. You try to talk and accuse your partner of beating you in your sleep and it comes out like "Why'd du hab to be so rude?!" in a half squeaky, hoarse voice.
ANGER
Then you realize it. You are SICK. Four million excuses run through your head why you can't be sick. I have work, kids, laundry, cookies to make, paper route, meeting, play date, trip, exercise, walking the dog, or a fun filled day cleaning your hairy couch with the vacuum cleaner. I CAN'T BE SICK!!!! you scream, well, if you had a voice to do so.
Then you search your brain for whatever places you have been that could have infected you with obnoxious germs. The shopping cart? The steering wheel? Did someone ELSE use my toothbrush? Wait...I saw my kid drinking out of my cup the other day! Keyboards! My phone? The cat, because he was sneezing last night? The rainy day. The windy day? The snowy day? The open mouthed baby kiss I got that I thought was so cute, but now is just gross?
BARGAINING
You think, I'll just call in sick for today, because surely this is the worst of it. You sit around all day, watching bad movies in the name of rest, drinking tea, inhaling cold medications, eating soup, sleeping with the cat you suspect got you sick in the first place and popping Vitamin C's like they are candy. Its okay the house is trashed because you are sick. You'll clean it up tomorrowo when you feel better after a long night rest with a humidifier/vaporizer.
DEPRESSION
You thought yesterday was miserable? Today, my friend, is 10 times worse. Now the Kleenex box has taken on a name and you hug it to your chest like its a long lost treasure. You're telling it secrets in your hallucinating delirium from fever. You have never felt this horrible in your life and swear you are dying. A shower will help, you think. Only when you emerge after putting on clean clothes and "think" your hair is okay, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. "I look like death warmed over!!!" Pale skin, red nose, watery eyes and black circles underneath glares back at you and why does it seem every pore in your face is visible when you're sick? "I'm hideous!" Hence, depression sets in as you spend an even longer, miserable day draped over furniture and feeling guilty you had to call in sick again because obviously they will think you are playing hooky for a day of fun.
ACCEPTANCE
I'm sick. "Take something!" your significant other hisses at you because you look, smell and sound horrible. You paw through the medicine cabinet looking for anything that will stop the drip of your nose, the ache of the headache, the burn of raw skin on your nose from the evil Kleenex. You laugh at the word rest, because while you are down, life is still going on and either you can't sleep because you can't breathe, or you can't sleep because everyone is lost without and constantly badger you for directions, advice, permission, and to show you that if they stick a coin by their (obviously non-stuffed) up nose and inhale, the coin will stay there! You thought yesterday's mess was awful, now you are knee deep in clutter, tissues, dishes, blankets and pillows that piled up in your inability to move off the still hairy couch. You don't care. You don't care that you are watching Barney on PBS. You don't care that you are thinking of ordering a set of ginsu knives. You don't care that you now have a sink full of toothpaste because the kids tried to brush their teeth unsupervised (it'll just make the fixtures really shiny when you do get back to cleaning them up). You don't care that you've been in the same clothes for two days. You've accepted you are always going to be THIS sick.
Barring any complications, by day five you feel like a miracle has been worked. You can leave your Kleenex friend/foe at home now. You're getting a bit of color back in your cheeks. You shaved! It's like you've got a new lease on life because you survived! It may have only been a cold, but you survived to see another day!
I'm always so amused at how good operating at a 100% feels when you've been sick and operating on 10%.
Just so this isn't pure fluff, I thought I would add a few remedies we use for our family:
Use Mucinex (guifesen) and Pseupedphrine (you have to get it from behind the pharmacy counter) together for the first couple days. This has saved me from getting a sinus infection several times.
Use a humidifier/vaporizer. Put a towel underneath so it doesn't soak your furniture. Maybe not everyone's does this because they still have a rubber stopper thingy on the bottom of the vent. One of my kids ate mine, or vacuumed it up.
Tyelnol for pain. Ibuprofen for inflammation.
Chicken soup:
2 big onions
2 cloves garlic
3 chicken breasts cooked with soy sauce and lemon pepper
1 lb. carrots
couple stalks of celery
3-4 potatoes
Noodles (I use a whole bag because we prefer stew over soup...easier to eat for little ones)
To taste:
Bay leaves
celery salt
garlic salt
basil
pepper
yellow curry or tumeric (just a little...its very strong)
Water to cover all ingredients
Brown the meat. Add the onions, garlic and celery and saute until tender. Add water, spices, potatoes, and the meat and veggies. Cook until veggies are almost tender and add the noodles. Cook until they are tender.
Baths help with fevers.
Wash your hands frequently and Lysol everything.
Hope you all stay healthy this season. It seems like winter is setting in early. We've been sick for three weeks with various illnesses. I NEED it to end!!
The day before you feel a little run down. Maybe more tired than usual and sneak off for cat nap in the car on your break, or dose off while the kids are watching PBS. You feel just...off. The next morning you don't really want to get out of bed because it is warm and you are still exhausted. Gee, you notice you're a little stuffed up and your throat is kinda tender (orange juice+ sore throat= awful burning pain). You go about your day normally. Sore throat wears off and you think, "huh. It must be getting drier due to the weather change". Never mind that you and the Kleenex box have now become acquainted. That night you think soup sounds good. You go to bed early because obviously you must not be getting enough sleep.
And then it hits in the middle of the night. Your sleep is restless because you've tossed and turned all night trying to find a position that allows you to breath. Your partner didn't get a wink of sleep from all your snoring and weird...your arm hurts. You try to talk and accuse your partner of beating you in your sleep and it comes out like "Why'd du hab to be so rude?!" in a half squeaky, hoarse voice.
ANGER
Then you realize it. You are SICK. Four million excuses run through your head why you can't be sick. I have work, kids, laundry, cookies to make, paper route, meeting, play date, trip, exercise, walking the dog, or a fun filled day cleaning your hairy couch with the vacuum cleaner. I CAN'T BE SICK!!!! you scream, well, if you had a voice to do so.
Then you search your brain for whatever places you have been that could have infected you with obnoxious germs. The shopping cart? The steering wheel? Did someone ELSE use my toothbrush? Wait...I saw my kid drinking out of my cup the other day! Keyboards! My phone? The cat, because he was sneezing last night? The rainy day. The windy day? The snowy day? The open mouthed baby kiss I got that I thought was so cute, but now is just gross?
BARGAINING
You think, I'll just call in sick for today, because surely this is the worst of it. You sit around all day, watching bad movies in the name of rest, drinking tea, inhaling cold medications, eating soup, sleeping with the cat you suspect got you sick in the first place and popping Vitamin C's like they are candy. Its okay the house is trashed because you are sick. You'll clean it up tomorrowo when you feel better after a long night rest with a humidifier/vaporizer.
DEPRESSION
You thought yesterday was miserable? Today, my friend, is 10 times worse. Now the Kleenex box has taken on a name and you hug it to your chest like its a long lost treasure. You're telling it secrets in your hallucinating delirium from fever. You have never felt this horrible in your life and swear you are dying. A shower will help, you think. Only when you emerge after putting on clean clothes and "think" your hair is okay, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. "I look like death warmed over!!!" Pale skin, red nose, watery eyes and black circles underneath glares back at you and why does it seem every pore in your face is visible when you're sick? "I'm hideous!" Hence, depression sets in as you spend an even longer, miserable day draped over furniture and feeling guilty you had to call in sick again because obviously they will think you are playing hooky for a day of fun.
ACCEPTANCE
I'm sick. "Take something!" your significant other hisses at you because you look, smell and sound horrible. You paw through the medicine cabinet looking for anything that will stop the drip of your nose, the ache of the headache, the burn of raw skin on your nose from the evil Kleenex. You laugh at the word rest, because while you are down, life is still going on and either you can't sleep because you can't breathe, or you can't sleep because everyone is lost without and constantly badger you for directions, advice, permission, and to show you that if they stick a coin by their (obviously non-stuffed) up nose and inhale, the coin will stay there! You thought yesterday's mess was awful, now you are knee deep in clutter, tissues, dishes, blankets and pillows that piled up in your inability to move off the still hairy couch. You don't care. You don't care that you are watching Barney on PBS. You don't care that you are thinking of ordering a set of ginsu knives. You don't care that you now have a sink full of toothpaste because the kids tried to brush their teeth unsupervised (it'll just make the fixtures really shiny when you do get back to cleaning them up). You don't care that you've been in the same clothes for two days. You've accepted you are always going to be THIS sick.
Barring any complications, by day five you feel like a miracle has been worked. You can leave your Kleenex friend/foe at home now. You're getting a bit of color back in your cheeks. You shaved! It's like you've got a new lease on life because you survived! It may have only been a cold, but you survived to see another day!
I'm always so amused at how good operating at a 100% feels when you've been sick and operating on 10%.
Just so this isn't pure fluff, I thought I would add a few remedies we use for our family:
Use Mucinex (guifesen) and Pseupedphrine (you have to get it from behind the pharmacy counter) together for the first couple days. This has saved me from getting a sinus infection several times.
Use a humidifier/vaporizer. Put a towel underneath so it doesn't soak your furniture. Maybe not everyone's does this because they still have a rubber stopper thingy on the bottom of the vent. One of my kids ate mine, or vacuumed it up.
Tyelnol for pain. Ibuprofen for inflammation.
Chicken soup:
2 big onions
2 cloves garlic
3 chicken breasts cooked with soy sauce and lemon pepper
1 lb. carrots
couple stalks of celery
3-4 potatoes
Noodles (I use a whole bag because we prefer stew over soup...easier to eat for little ones)
To taste:
Bay leaves
celery salt
garlic salt
basil
pepper
yellow curry or tumeric (just a little...its very strong)
Water to cover all ingredients
Brown the meat. Add the onions, garlic and celery and saute until tender. Add water, spices, potatoes, and the meat and veggies. Cook until veggies are almost tender and add the noodles. Cook until they are tender.
Baths help with fevers.
Wash your hands frequently and Lysol everything.
Hope you all stay healthy this season. It seems like winter is setting in early. We've been sick for three weeks with various illnesses. I NEED it to end!!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Supper or Dinner?

Tonight around the dinner table our usual unusual conversations were flowing. Everything from the proper color of urine to compliments on the dinner and ideas for the next time we make the dish. One of the kids brought up the question as to why we call "dinner" "dinner" and why other people call it "supper".
I grew up with my parents calling the evening meal "Supper". I just never liked it as much as the way dinner sounds, so I changed my habits and saying "dinner" is now so second nature to me.
My question to you is, what do you call the evening meal? Supper or Dinner?
Monday, October 12, 2009
Man-Bodi

“Nothing is more memorable than a smell. One scent can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside a lake in the mountains...”
-Diane Ackerman
Scents create memories, stir up feelings and can even change our moods. Scents are both pleasant and unpleasant.
The most three most unpleasant smells to me are poop, someone else's gas, and the
old corn-chippy smell of body odor. Blech!My current favorite scent is the Tambodi candle by Party Lite candles. It smells like the perfect combination of a man's cologne and pheromones. My girlfriends and I call is "Man-bodi". Ahhhh...it smells just right! Glad I have my "Man-bodi" at home- he sure is wonderful!

Some other favorite smells of mine are:
- Baby skin, especially around their faces
- Wings Perfume
- Coconut Hawaiian Tropic sun-tanning oil mixed with the salty ocean seaspray
- The smell of dinner cooking, especially if it's Italian or Mexican food.
"The cup of tea on arrival at a country house is a thing which, as a rule, I particularly enjoy. I like the crackling logs, the shaded lights, the scent of buttered toast, the general atmosphere of leisured coziness.”
-P. G. Wodehouse
Labels:
Thoughts
Time Sucking Black Holes
By Guest Blogger: Rio Denali
Time management is going to do me in.
Call it a late New Year's resolution: I have decided to get in shape. But finding time for the gym is proving to be a challenge.
I ignore my to-do list to focus attention on the gym. After 3 or 4 days in a row of this, I take a day off to get caught up on everything .... but a recovery day turns into 3 or 5. Being the analytical person I am, I started wondering what is making me do this. There is only one answer: poor time management skills.
I work from the time I wake up until I go to bed. I run one mid-sized & several small businesses from home while taking care of 3 children. (Did I mention that I homeschool too?) Perpetual motion from the time I wake up in the morning until long after everyone else goes to bed, and I never seem to get it all done. In taking an honest look though, I see several time-sucking black-holes in my day.
Twitter is ruining my day. It really is addictive, isn't it? This is my escape. I spend way too much time reading, tweeting, re-tweeting, and following others. Yes, I do enjoy it and often find some great information that really helps in my quest to improve. But, there are days that I do not manage to fit in a workout--yet I managed to fit in an hour on Twitter. Success is never a by-product of misplaced priorities.
TV. I am not a bad offender, but even watching a couple shows a day makes a difference. Two 1-hour shows per day, Monday through Friday = 10 hours per week spent in front of the television. I have come to the conclusion that the answer is not turning off the TV, but rather turning TV watching into a workout opportunity. Imagine the difference, in a course of a year, if you put an exercise bike in front of that television.
Not planning meals. Healthy food can be cooked inexpensively with little time spent preparing--if you plan ahead. Put some lean meat, fresh veggies and seasonings in a crock pot... simmer for a few hours....and with only a few minutes of work you have a healthy, delicious meal. Beats my current method: wait until the last minute when everyone is starving...throw the kids in the car...and drive to McDonalds. Planning ahead would save half on calories and cost (and save 100% of the guilt.)
Feeling guilty. Ok, this one does not truly sap time, but it certainly saps energy which leads to getting less done. It is important to let go of the past, and focus instead on making each day better than the last.
Related websites:
A great place for crockpot recipes Wolf River Creations
This article was originally featured on RioDancesOnTheSand.com, a blog for the thinking person... Written by Rio, a 30-something with peculiar curiosities, who makes the observations that many of us avoid. Full of useful links and entertaining articles, it is a fun favorite for the intelligent reader. For more great articles like this, please visit RioDancesOnTheSand.com.
Labels:
Personal Discovery,
Thoughts
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Finding New Definition
It has been two weeks that the kids have been back to public school. Most of that time one or two of the four have been home sick. We are currently battling cases of pneumonia and croup, plus me with an infection as well and some pretty bad back issues. So, I don't know if I have gotten to fully experience the whole "kids in school and I have time to myself" phenomenon. At least, not for a whole week. What has really got me thinking about this blog post was a discussion group we had at MOPS on Friday. It started out trying to balance your life as a mom, and what you used to be like before kids. You probably knew yourself pretty good before you had kids. But after you had kids, you had to define yourself again, and this time as a mom. I'm sure it took a few month-years to finally feel comfortable in that role, but one day did you lay in bed thinking "I used to sleep in till 10 a.m. but now I call it good if I sleep in till 6:30."?
I've been trying to redefine myself. I used to be in the military, and really felt that defined me. I liked my job. I felt proud to be serving in the Air Force. I liked to wear the uniform and combat boots. I always had in my mind though, if I became a parent, I would get out of active duty. That came sooner than I anticipated, but I held onto the military by going into the Reserves. I still had a little bit of my old self when I left for the drill weekends, or attended to the 2 week annual tours. However, I loved motherhood. After the fourth baby came along, it just wasn't conductive to our family life for me to continue my career. I got out, went inactive, and felt that door slam shut on that part of my life. I felt a little lost. Trying to be an optimist, I made full use of that extra weekend a month though. I now had 4 full weekends a month I could spend with my family! At that point though, I turned my efforts and energy into homeschooling.
Now I wasn't just a stay at home mom, I was a homeschooler mom. This came with an adjustment to a new lifestyle. People wondered how I could spend all day with all my kids. I enjoyed them, I loved them! I didn't really feel too stressed out, in fact, I felt a lot of stress had drained away from our life. Life swung into a new schedule: breakfast, chores, school, lunch, naps, playtime, dinner, chores, baths, bedtime. I got my time away at church functions, going shopping in the evenings by myself, talking with friends or family late into the night.
Then came the diagnosis of autism for two of our kids. Now I had a new label, which yes, eased some consciousness that there really was something wrong, that I wasn't a horrible mother, that homeschooling hadn't done this to my kids, that maybe now I could get support, help, and direction. That didn't come so easy. Most people didn't believe they had autism, some people didn't know what autism was, and I found myself sometimes going in circles trying to find what worked, didn't work, trying medications, the medications stopped working, new medication, new appointments, and around we would go. But this was another definition to me as a mom. I was a mother to disabled children. And I needed help!
Now I'm trying to define myself again as a mother. I have kids in school. I have two at home. I never realized how much the older kids entertained the little kids because that 1 year old is BUSY! My house is cleaner than it has ever been! (Mostly). I thought, wow! I can do crafts, I can make quilts, I can finish that medical transcription course, I can do exercises, I can clean and it will stay cleaned up! What do I do while the little guys are taking a nap? I take a nap. Wow. Ok, not every day, but some days I'm taking a nap, and the other times, I'm cleaning or watching a movie or show...in peace and quiet, without some smaller noggins getting in the way or little fingers shutting it off right in the middle of the good part.
So I find myself defining myself again. I've already determined I'm not giving up homeschooling forever, and I'm going to take this time to figure out ME again before we start back up (hopefully next year). Maybe this is all part of the learning process in life...nothing ever stays the same. And for some us that are a little more inflexible in that department, it is quite an adjustment.
I've been trying to redefine myself. I used to be in the military, and really felt that defined me. I liked my job. I felt proud to be serving in the Air Force. I liked to wear the uniform and combat boots. I always had in my mind though, if I became a parent, I would get out of active duty. That came sooner than I anticipated, but I held onto the military by going into the Reserves. I still had a little bit of my old self when I left for the drill weekends, or attended to the 2 week annual tours. However, I loved motherhood. After the fourth baby came along, it just wasn't conductive to our family life for me to continue my career. I got out, went inactive, and felt that door slam shut on that part of my life. I felt a little lost. Trying to be an optimist, I made full use of that extra weekend a month though. I now had 4 full weekends a month I could spend with my family! At that point though, I turned my efforts and energy into homeschooling.
Now I wasn't just a stay at home mom, I was a homeschooler mom. This came with an adjustment to a new lifestyle. People wondered how I could spend all day with all my kids. I enjoyed them, I loved them! I didn't really feel too stressed out, in fact, I felt a lot of stress had drained away from our life. Life swung into a new schedule: breakfast, chores, school, lunch, naps, playtime, dinner, chores, baths, bedtime. I got my time away at church functions, going shopping in the evenings by myself, talking with friends or family late into the night.
Then came the diagnosis of autism for two of our kids. Now I had a new label, which yes, eased some consciousness that there really was something wrong, that I wasn't a horrible mother, that homeschooling hadn't done this to my kids, that maybe now I could get support, help, and direction. That didn't come so easy. Most people didn't believe they had autism, some people didn't know what autism was, and I found myself sometimes going in circles trying to find what worked, didn't work, trying medications, the medications stopped working, new medication, new appointments, and around we would go. But this was another definition to me as a mom. I was a mother to disabled children. And I needed help!
Now I'm trying to define myself again as a mother. I have kids in school. I have two at home. I never realized how much the older kids entertained the little kids because that 1 year old is BUSY! My house is cleaner than it has ever been! (Mostly). I thought, wow! I can do crafts, I can make quilts, I can finish that medical transcription course, I can do exercises, I can clean and it will stay cleaned up! What do I do while the little guys are taking a nap? I take a nap. Wow. Ok, not every day, but some days I'm taking a nap, and the other times, I'm cleaning or watching a movie or show...in peace and quiet, without some smaller noggins getting in the way or little fingers shutting it off right in the middle of the good part.
So I find myself defining myself again. I've already determined I'm not giving up homeschooling forever, and I'm going to take this time to figure out ME again before we start back up (hopefully next year). Maybe this is all part of the learning process in life...nothing ever stays the same. And for some us that are a little more inflexible in that department, it is quite an adjustment.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Lady in Red

Wednesday we deliver papers. Whenever I count out the papers, I seem to short us 2 papers, but if I let my nine year old who is obviously more skilled in math than his mother, we come out with 2 papers extra. Anyway, go figure. Back to my story: we had to drive clear back across town (this takes a whole 4 minutes) and pick up two more papers and while I was in the area, I picked up Curtis from work. He asked me if I had messed with his phone at all. No, in fact, I hadn't even seen it except when digging it out of the dog food bag.
Now I have to back track for this story to really get the full humor of it. When I was 13, I was completely in love with Chris de Burgh. You know, the guy that sings Lady in Red, something about Vodka in Russia and Don't Pay the Ferryman? I was even going to see him in concert for my birthday but that fell through due to bad weather or low funds or something. I just knew I could have been his future wife had we met at that concert (well, till I found out he was ALREADY married). And yeah, I'm completely embarrassing myself with that admission because now I look and him and think: EEWW!
This is Curtis' "experience" with Chris de Burgh. Remember back in the 80's and 90's you could call the radio stations and dedicate songs on the radio to your latest crush? One night him and his friends were driving around when they hear "I'd like to dedicate Lady in Red, to MY Lady in Red." It was his brother. I'm assuming they teased the poor guy mercilessly for years since it still comes up even in general conversation.
So, back to my story (again). We're in the car driving back to deliver the papers, clear on the other side of town (another whole 4 minutes away) and he asks if I messed with the ring tone on his phone. No, I say. He tells me to call it.
"Lady in red/is dancing with me/....."
BWHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAH......hahahhahahahahha!!!!! hahahahahahahah
Followed by:
"Yeah. All the guys at work are like "Dude. Are you gay?"
Needless to say, the phone is switched back to the Star Wars theme song, to which he answers every time I call as "Yes, Emperor!"
Still...I like me some Chris de Burgh.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Life Changes
We decided last week to put all our kids in public school. This would have been our 5th year homeschooling and I hate that I caved now. Part of me feels like I have to justify myself to get out of the guilt I feel for putting them in school and part of me feels a huge relief to just have two little ones at home during the day. Does anyone know how clean my house is staying? Which makes me wonder: who was messing it up if its not the one and three year old?
I can't remember if I wrote about our summer on here or not. Heck, I can't even remember yesterday, let alone a month ago or two months ago. The stress level in our home reached a breaking point. I have to say that even in times of pregnancy, unemployment and moving (all at the same time), I never felt as stressed as I did over this summer. Isaac (Asperger's and ADHD), Simeon (Autism and Traumatic Brian Injuries totaling three now), and Hannah (diagnosed with Asthma) kept us on our toes this summer. It took us most of the summer to get Isaac on medications that worked for him, and so in the meantime we dealt with violent and destructive behaviors. Simeon chose this summer to experiment with penny swallowing, bead storing in the nose and then getting a concussion, shock and seizures all at the same time. I tried to homeschool through the summer, but it just wasn't working when it felt like just as we got our feet back on the ground, they were wiped out from under us again. I made a huge effort, and witnessed some beautiful answers to my prayers, but by the end of the summer, I just couldn't find my footing.
Burn Out.
I sought out the public school to get some help for Isaac and his disabilities. Along with everything else that child has, on top of it, he has learning disabilities. He tested 2 grades behind where he should be, so the school offered some assistance: 2.5 hours every day, all week, plus occupational therapy and some behavior therapy. After one week of him in it, we still couldn't get on back on track with our home schooling. I threw in the towel. I was at the end of my rope.
I'm sure my kid's friends now think they have the most clingy and over-protective mother on the planet. Of course, what would school be without all the socialization? They've made friends, and not just one or two, but several, and they all happen to live near us. When we were homeschooling, we had the perfect schedule, I thought. School and chores till 3:30, then when the other kids got out of school, they were free to go play with their friends. But now, they come home and charge right back outside. I miss my kids!
On the bright side, I have my house cleaner than it's been in YEARS. I got all the laundry caught up. Dishes are done, floors are clean, ceiling fans are dusted, walls are wiped, toilet is scrubbed, and toys are confined. I waffle between wanting my dear children home again, and feeling guilty because while they are gone, the house is cleaned and I've fallen into a natural schedule....at least one I've always dreamed of keeping.
Life is not perfect, mind you. Isaac is coming home in melt down status. Able to keep it together all day at school, once he's home he looses it. We have impulse control issues, memory loss, violent behavior, crying and screaming. At times I wonder if I should put him back to the 2.5 hours a day, leave the others in school, and bring him back home. Still an option, I suppose, but he does enjoy school, so that is a comfort.
I am not used to quiet time in the afternoon with little ones asleep and essentially about two hours to myself. I don't have fires to put out (sometimes literally), I don't have screaming, crying or fighting children, and I can go to the bathroom by myself! It is a relief in some aspect, but still, I miss our old schedule and I miss our children.
This isn't a forever solution, and I realize that, but for now, it is nice to have a break, to have some down time, and hopefully, most of us can heal and recover from this summer that was so much more stressful. Sometimes I think (well, I know) we can be so hard on ourselves, and yes, even our children.
I can't remember if I wrote about our summer on here or not. Heck, I can't even remember yesterday, let alone a month ago or two months ago. The stress level in our home reached a breaking point. I have to say that even in times of pregnancy, unemployment and moving (all at the same time), I never felt as stressed as I did over this summer. Isaac (Asperger's and ADHD), Simeon (Autism and Traumatic Brian Injuries totaling three now), and Hannah (diagnosed with Asthma) kept us on our toes this summer. It took us most of the summer to get Isaac on medications that worked for him, and so in the meantime we dealt with violent and destructive behaviors. Simeon chose this summer to experiment with penny swallowing, bead storing in the nose and then getting a concussion, shock and seizures all at the same time. I tried to homeschool through the summer, but it just wasn't working when it felt like just as we got our feet back on the ground, they were wiped out from under us again. I made a huge effort, and witnessed some beautiful answers to my prayers, but by the end of the summer, I just couldn't find my footing.
Burn Out.
I sought out the public school to get some help for Isaac and his disabilities. Along with everything else that child has, on top of it, he has learning disabilities. He tested 2 grades behind where he should be, so the school offered some assistance: 2.5 hours every day, all week, plus occupational therapy and some behavior therapy. After one week of him in it, we still couldn't get on back on track with our home schooling. I threw in the towel. I was at the end of my rope.
I'm sure my kid's friends now think they have the most clingy and over-protective mother on the planet. Of course, what would school be without all the socialization? They've made friends, and not just one or two, but several, and they all happen to live near us. When we were homeschooling, we had the perfect schedule, I thought. School and chores till 3:30, then when the other kids got out of school, they were free to go play with their friends. But now, they come home and charge right back outside. I miss my kids!
On the bright side, I have my house cleaner than it's been in YEARS. I got all the laundry caught up. Dishes are done, floors are clean, ceiling fans are dusted, walls are wiped, toilet is scrubbed, and toys are confined. I waffle between wanting my dear children home again, and feeling guilty because while they are gone, the house is cleaned and I've fallen into a natural schedule....at least one I've always dreamed of keeping.
Life is not perfect, mind you. Isaac is coming home in melt down status. Able to keep it together all day at school, once he's home he looses it. We have impulse control issues, memory loss, violent behavior, crying and screaming. At times I wonder if I should put him back to the 2.5 hours a day, leave the others in school, and bring him back home. Still an option, I suppose, but he does enjoy school, so that is a comfort.
I am not used to quiet time in the afternoon with little ones asleep and essentially about two hours to myself. I don't have fires to put out (sometimes literally), I don't have screaming, crying or fighting children, and I can go to the bathroom by myself! It is a relief in some aspect, but still, I miss our old schedule and I miss our children.
This isn't a forever solution, and I realize that, but for now, it is nice to have a break, to have some down time, and hopefully, most of us can heal and recover from this summer that was so much more stressful. Sometimes I think (well, I know) we can be so hard on ourselves, and yes, even our children.
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