A Homemaking Journey

Hannah turns 7 next week. I took her to a movie tonight and allowed myself to float along with the movie in my pink bubble fantasy world about her. Don't all mothers have some kind of fantasy about their children? Hoping they grow up and become successful, happy beings, maybe they resemble a more youthful form of ourselves. As Hannah gets older, she's gets more beautiful. I feel a like I'm getting a little too protective of her: don't wear that shirt, those shorts are too short, comb your hair, when you're wearing a dress sit with your legs down and together.

I envision Hannah as an adult in her own little house, sitting at her table with her, reminiscing about her childhood, sympathizing with her over life's woes, laughing over hot chocolate at the antics of her children, and still, mesmerized by her beauty and her spirit.



We spent the weekend in Utah with one of my best friend's in life. She's a girly girl, and so Hannah was smitten. Kim had long hair she straightened, wore make up, wore earrings, oozed a confidence and ease that Hannah's mother seems not so good at. Hannah got to wear REAL make up, and had Kim do my makeup so she could see how it was applied. Oh yes, I could see the wheels turning and Hannah memorizing everything Kim was doing. I have a feeling that my own make over is not too far in the future, done by my own talented and creative daughter. Hannah got her hair curled. She got her first dance with a boy (Kim's 14 year old son, Seth) who was so kind and considerate to Hannah and played with her when the other boys were doing boy things. I won't say Hannah has a first love, but you could see the adoration in her eyes for Seth.

Anyone that tells you the only difference between boys and girls is the ability to do hair is either lying or never had a girl. Even from a young age, Hannah has been stubborn, competitive, emotional and loud. She makes herself known. Her voice is louder than the boys, her fury more scornful. Hannah seems to be a bit resistant to change, and sometimes we find that frustrating, and sometimes endearing. Frustrating in that she doesn't want to ever move, try something new or accept any change to schedule. Endearing that she is so emotionally attached to her brothers, she doesn't want any "leaving the nest". I've mentioned before the difference in the younger boys having an older sister than my older boys who did not have that influence. The younger boys are more compassionate, more loving and more "loved". When mommy has hurt their feelings, they turn to Hannah for comfort. Hannah has been the Little Mama.



One of Hannah's most asked question is why was she not the first child. It's not a question any of us can answer, but I do see how being the middle child, 3rd in line out of 6, and the only girl, could make life hard sometimes. With no girls, no pretty things are sacred, feels like everything gets stomped on as soon as she makes it perfect, you know, because boys just aren't that into tea parties, or understand why Barbie needs her hair washed and outfit changed 14 times a day, or why it is so fun to put on make up and a pretty dress, life is just so....frustrating!

When I turned 7, it was just before the Christmas pageant at school. My mom let me wear some lipstick, curled my bangs, and I wore a dress my grandmother had made me. For my birthday I got some blue zirconium earring studs. My birthday party was a tea party followed by a slumber party. I felt so girly, so pretty! Its funny how life seems to repeat itself sometimes, as that is what Hannah is hoping for, minus the slumber party (her best friend moved away this spring). Kim did all these things for Hannah over the weekend, and taking a cue from her, I hope to follow up with a bit of makeup and nail polish for her for her birthday.



I used to be so terrified of having a daughter. I think it has made me more feminine and more understanding of girls. Sons always hold a special place in a mother's heart, like they are your first love times how many you have. But girls...girls hold a few more places, like that of best friend, sister, mother, daughter, mentor. Sometimes I think when we all decided to come to earth, Hannah was the one to say "Ok, you be the mom and I'll be the daughter." Only, I think it should have been the other way around. I think I have a lot to learn from my daughter, which is why I feel incompetent as her mother sometimes. At loss for words, at loss for advice, at loss for discipline and at loss for understanding. I'll say the boys are so much easier because they are pretty literal. Hannah is emotional, has the memory of an elephant, and can be one of the most stubborn people I know (I have no idea where she gets that from. *whistling nonchalantly*

The Middle Child and Only Daughter