We took lots of pictures of our family over the holiday weekend. Today I took the opportunity to look through them, which turn out to be more like critiquing them. A theme I saw more and more in all the pictures of me was how tired I looked. My eyes were so sleepy looking. After looking at Hannah's youthful appearance, even with her too big of teeth and too long of hair she hasn't quite grown into yet, her eyes were always bright and her skin smooth. How fast that youthful appearance tends to flee. While I washed my now short hair today, I thought about why I was so tired.
I'm tired of fighting with kids that fight with each other.
Going to bed too late.
Getting up too early.
Listening to Aristocats for the 40th time this week.
Dealing with one autistic kid that does too much.
Dealing with another autistic kid that does too little.
Cleaning.
Stress from just....struggling: finances, homeschooling, medical issues.
Does this read so easily on people's appearances?
Almost 4 years ago I found myself standing in the cosmetics aisle with Shiloah and another friend. They found me some under eye make up that helped with the tired look, only now I can't find it and am forced to search for it. This might as well be a search for the Holy Grail for me. The make-up aisle is a bit scary to me...what do you do with it all? How do I know what to do with foundation, powder, dust, mineral blush, glitter, and I've seen some women use lipstick as blush...do I do that instead? How do I get rid of the dark circles under my eyes? Hemorrhoid cream, highlighter, or Spackle? Do I wear blue eye shadow or pink? Lipstick: I usually end up getting a color meant for dark skin, not pasty white, which makes me look even paler and a little bit on the evil vampire side. I just stick to chapstick now. So, I just don't go down this aisle. Unfortunately, my favorite store moved my facial wash to the make up aisle now and I'm forced to get lost wandering the make up section, getting side tracked by all the other offers of beauty and colors. This has gotten me to thinking that maybe a little make up might help in the sleepy eyed looks department.
This doesn't help that about 8 years ago my sister told me on my 27th birthday, "Maybe you should think about wearing make up now. After all, you are 27 now." She made it sound like 27 is 87.
Anyway, moving on. I had a point here, when I was thinking about all this and forming this blog post in my mind. Something along the lines of how when you feel like you've been dragged through the trenches of motherhood, not just IN the trenches....How do you feel and look when you have really laughed? Maybe this is the best make up of all.
This week I made zucchini muffins that Simeon referred to as Bikini muffins. Joshua finally potty trained (Praise the good Lord!!), and one day, left on there while we had a discussion about William Clark that took about 20 more minutes, he poked his head around the bathroom door and yelled "I done!". Ammon has learned to hug our legs, give open mouthed kisses (slobber and all), and refers to everyone as Dad. So, when I come home, I get "Hi, Dad!". Hannah put a price sticker on her leg and then announced she is now $12.85. I found a new store full of the prettiest stuff. I watched a bird take a bath. I have a husband who reloaded 232 songs back on my Ipod after my kids reformatted it. These are things to be happy about and I suppose, if you looked at your life, your kids, your husband, your job, you'll find many, many more things to be happy and joyful about. Better than all the make up in the world.
*I'm not anti-make up. Just so you know.*
I'm tired of fighting with kids that fight with each other.
Going to bed too late.
Getting up too early.
Listening to Aristocats for the 40th time this week.
Dealing with one autistic kid that does too much.
Dealing with another autistic kid that does too little.
Cleaning.
Stress from just....struggling: finances, homeschooling, medical issues.
Does this read so easily on people's appearances?
Almost 4 years ago I found myself standing in the cosmetics aisle with Shiloah and another friend. They found me some under eye make up that helped with the tired look, only now I can't find it and am forced to search for it. This might as well be a search for the Holy Grail for me. The make-up aisle is a bit scary to me...what do you do with it all? How do I know what to do with foundation, powder, dust, mineral blush, glitter, and I've seen some women use lipstick as blush...do I do that instead? How do I get rid of the dark circles under my eyes? Hemorrhoid cream, highlighter, or Spackle? Do I wear blue eye shadow or pink? Lipstick: I usually end up getting a color meant for dark skin, not pasty white, which makes me look even paler and a little bit on the evil vampire side. I just stick to chapstick now. So, I just don't go down this aisle. Unfortunately, my favorite store moved my facial wash to the make up aisle now and I'm forced to get lost wandering the make up section, getting side tracked by all the other offers of beauty and colors. This has gotten me to thinking that maybe a little make up might help in the sleepy eyed looks department.
This doesn't help that about 8 years ago my sister told me on my 27th birthday, "Maybe you should think about wearing make up now. After all, you are 27 now." She made it sound like 27 is 87.
Anyway, moving on. I had a point here, when I was thinking about all this and forming this blog post in my mind. Something along the lines of how when you feel like you've been dragged through the trenches of motherhood, not just IN the trenches....How do you feel and look when you have really laughed? Maybe this is the best make up of all.
This week I made zucchini muffins that Simeon referred to as Bikini muffins. Joshua finally potty trained (Praise the good Lord!!), and one day, left on there while we had a discussion about William Clark that took about 20 more minutes, he poked his head around the bathroom door and yelled "I done!". Ammon has learned to hug our legs, give open mouthed kisses (slobber and all), and refers to everyone as Dad. So, when I come home, I get "Hi, Dad!". Hannah put a price sticker on her leg and then announced she is now $12.85. I found a new store full of the prettiest stuff. I watched a bird take a bath. I have a husband who reloaded 232 songs back on my Ipod after my kids reformatted it. These are things to be happy about and I suppose, if you looked at your life, your kids, your husband, your job, you'll find many, many more things to be happy and joyful about. Better than all the make up in the world.
*I'm not anti-make up. Just so you know.*
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I adore you Dawn. This post is lovely - and you're so much fun, even though I don't think you know it. ;)
As for the aging thing.. I see myself staring at my pics lately too, wondering what in the world happened. It's not just motherhood - many our age that haven't had kids (or just one) have aged the same. Just think - we get the wrinkles AND the kisses and snuggles... they just get wrinkles. :D
ROFL- Love it, Dawn! You don't need eye cream, silly! :)
Great post! Why would you want to cover up the tired eyes - it's obviously from all the joy in your life! =)